an overseas nurse dilemma

I just can't shake this off.. Was told by a co nurse that overseas nurses (from third world countries) normally just say yes to what doctors say, they don't voice out their opinions or ask even when they know that what is being asked is questionable e.g wrong dose of medications. It really irked me to hear this comment, I wanted to defend my self and other overseas nurses but I decided to let it go at that moment as I had a busy shift and could not afford to waste time changing her opinion especially when that is what she has noticed. However, I had wished I was braver and somehow tried to defend overseas nurses. This is not the first time I heard this comment and I wonder if this is true. Are we really like what my co worker just said? Do we just follow doctors orders blindly? I do like to think we are more than that. In my first few years working as a nurse in this country, I realized I had been like that sometimes, ( I meant not in something that can potentially end life such as wrong medications) I was uncomfortable to challenge someone who has more auhtority than me. This can just be because of my upbringing and has not got anything to do with nursing. I guess some of us can relate. Although I haven't worked long  as a nurse back home and I don't know if doctors opinions are most highly regarded among others and don't know if doctors are seen as captain of the ship and not equals. These are the things I can't answer but know that there has to be reasons why my co worker has said that. Her words really challenges me and reminds me to be more vocal and pro active. I guess the best way to prove that we are more than opinionless nurses is thru deed.

Throwback time

My lil ray of sunlight

I heard once that behind a great woman is a great mom. At first I didn't really believe it as I was sure that I am far from being great and my mom isn't really what I used to consider a great role model. Growing up being yelled at, being called names pushed me to not give a damn. I simply didn't care as I didn't want people to know me and say I didn't deserve to be in their life. I had major self esteem issue. I was almost always alone and had struggles keeping friendship as I didn't do good in trust department and completely letting other people know the real me. It was until I turned 30 that I have finally seen my purpose in life; to be a mom. When I gave birth to Olivia, I had so many questions in my mind and felt a mixed of emotions. I was scared, happy, and in love with her more the moment I saw her face. I was scared as I didn't know if I will be the mom she needs. Will I scream at her too and call her slut if she made me mad? I didn't want that. I want her to be a confident, happy and loving person. I want great things for her but I don't know if I can be a better mom than my mom. I didn't exactly have a role model. Having Olivia in my life is a blessing indeed. I have known myself more, now I know that I am capable of loving a person with all my heart. I am still trying to be the best mom for her everyday. There are times when I feel like I have enough and I just  want to scream at her out of frustration but consciously decided not because when I look at her, I can see myself in her and I didn't want her to feel unloved, undeserving and alone. I want her to have a happier childhood :)